Poppy #1

I am sure many of you have heard the phrase, "music to my ears," right? After 27 hours of labor, on November 5, 2019, a medical professional laid my granddaughter on my daughter's chest and I heard my daughter say, "I've waited my whole life for you!" It was positively the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

I asked my daughter, Jasmine, if she would be willing to share my first blog writing of 2020 because I wanted our circle to learn more about this incredible love story. The highs, the lows, the frustrations and ultimately God's faithfulness.

*Jasmine

My husband Thane and I have been married for 10 years. We have spent 9 of them desperately trying to get pregnant. That's 3,285 days, of praying, dreaming, hoping, begging, mourning, giving up and realizing that, no matter what, God is in control. And He will give me the desires of my heart in His perfect timing.

After 5 unsuccessful attempts with IUI, we decided that we would try IVF. Once we started that process, our lives were totally consumed by a particular, well-timed-out schedule. There are the medications, giving myself shots in the stomach, going to doctors’ appointments every few days. Then there is my husband giving me shots in my hips, egg retrieval and finally embryo implementation.

These are the various steps that every person must go through on the journey of IVF. Keep in mind, that going through them, does not guarantee that you will end up pregnant, let alone deliver a healthy baby.

Thane and I wanted a baby with our whole hearts so we moved forward full speed ahead. Our first embryo transfer worked and I was pregnant!! I can't begin to tell you how overjoyed we were. We told everyone about the pregnancy. I mean everyone! Family, friends, co-workers, people at the grocery store. Our neighbors. Yes, everyone.

Then our world turned upside down, I suffered a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I have never experienced a loss so great. Sometimes it felt like my body couldn't hold all the grief because it was too big, but in those moments, I really leaned on God. I would literally cry out to Him for peace, and He would pour it over my heart.

Two months after the miscarriage, we implanted another embryo and I was thrilled to be pregnant again. We kept this one under-wraps with the exception of sharing with my mother and a few others. When we went in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks, there was no heartbeat. The pain, if possible, was magnified and I was inconsolable. I want you to understand that my grief is not a contradiction of who the Lord is or what He can do. I am a human being who spent countless hours dreaming of the joy of parenting with my husband. The loss of these two children is indescribable.

After this loss, my husband and I decided to take a break from IVF and focus on healing our minds and my body. It was nice to focus on something other than our desperation for a child. We were intent on focusing on our marriage and it was during this decision-making process that I reached out to my mom and asked her opinion about starting a prayer group. I am pretty sure you will enjoy her version of the "prayer squad" much better than mine.

This would be a never-ending blog if I shared all that transpired during this time of "chill." What is most relevant in this journey is that I grew closer to the Lord. I developed a more intimate relationship with Him, and Thane and I began attending Worship on a weekly basis. Life became more manageable, and soon we were ready to try again.

When we implanted our last embryo, we did it with extreme optimism. We believed, along with the "prayer squad," that the Lord would see us all the way through and we would have the child we had been praying for.

God honored that prayer request, and on Nov. 5th at 9:19 pm, I gave birth to Poppy Grace Sanges. My mom has a saying that she normally ends her advice with. It goes something like this, "I have never lied to you and I'm not going to start today."

When I told Poppy that I had waited for her my whole life, I hadn't practiced what I would say. Remember, my dreams had turned into nightmares on two occasions. I was almost afraid to imagine the moment. I opened my mouth and my first words to my daughter were the truth.

*Suni

Part 2 is coming on 1/31/20