At 12:20 this morning, I arrived back in Charlotte, after spending a week in Vegas, with 6 phenomenal women. Now typically when I am talking about women that I admire and cherish, they are my best friends, my sisters. In this case, I am speaking of the yaya's - a beloved group of friends that I have known for eons. Our group total is actually 9, counting myself, but we have a hard time getting everyone to be available for everything. Our aim is always heavy participation.
One of these women I have known for 44 years, while another, it has only been 12. And, the latter did not become a formal part of the group until I had moved away. Speaking of which...being absolutely transparent, that was difficult for me. To add another member to an already cemented group was...it was tough and I was pretty resistant to the idea.
You see, I take my relationships very seriously. I don't say the word "friend" easily or casually and, I most certainly wouldn't want you to be a part of this coveted group of women without you being vetted quite heavily. That is probably why it happened after I left. My friends know me pretty well.
The original group of yaya's stemmed from a close relationship that I had with one of them. We mutually knew or worked with two of the others. I brought my best friend into the mix and eventually added another chick that I knew. We rounded the group up to 8 when we added a friend of my original friend and another woman who was a BPW (Business and Professional Women) affiliate of ours. And, the last member? She is a friend of the original friend's, friend. I eluded to how that happened above. Although, I did threaten to revoke her membership this past week. True Story. Confused?
We are literally a diverse group of women that have varying taste in politics, music, parenting styles, denominations and, who we choose to partner with. We respect each other even if we do not always agree on how the person approaches life. We range from business owners to dog sitters to retirees. We did not start out with our formal title nor did we make ourselves official for many, many years. We slowly, but surely, grew into something pretty spectacular.
We have been there for one another on the worst days and we have been there to celebrate the moments that have mattered the most. We take care of each other and we set each other straight. I have been the maid of honor AND the matron of honor to the same woman in this group. True story! We put our money together for the good of the collective and we don't think twice about it.
We have partied hard on land and on sea. We have woken up in each others homes and, sometimes in each others beds, on more occasions than I can count. No, it wasn't an accident. We share ideas and recipes - uh, only 4 of us have done this because the others don't really cook. And now that one of them discovered "doordash", she really doesn't go in the kitchen. I digress. We are the yaya's. You know, one for all and all for one? That's us.
It is not always rosy and divine. As a matter of fact, we can "get into it" on the regular. Of course, based on personality, some of us can get into it more than others. We have our passive aggressive "lay in the cut" types.....and then, you have me. *insert sigh. What can I say, I like to put things out in the open. Sue me.
I thought about this blog while I was with these precious friends of mine. I knew I wanted to write about how much they mean to me and, I wanted to share who we are to each other. I also was hoping that the reader could relate based on similar relationships. People who will love you no matter the transgression. People who will stand up for you when you are right and shut you down when you are wrong. People who will teach you something that you may never have considered and will allow you to do the same. I am grateful to God for mine.
So, I leave you with this - in the early 80's, an ole skool rap group, who went by the name of Whoduni, made these lyrics famous:
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Before we go any further, lets be
Friends
Is a word we use everyday
Most the time we use it in the wrong way
Now you can look the word up, again and again
But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends
And if you ask me, you know, I couldn't be much help
Because A friend is somebody you judge for yourself
Some are ok, and they treat you real cool
But some mistake kindness for bein a fool
We like to be with some, because they're funny
Others come around when they need some money
Some you grew up with, around the way
And you're still real close too this very day
Homeboys through the Summer, Winter, Spring and Fall
And then there's some we wish we never knew at all
And this list goes on, again and again
But these are the people that we call friends
